David Hasselhoff on Howard Stern

David Hasselhoff called in to Howard Stern's show this morning at around 7:05am. This video is a taste of the interview, and below you can find a transcript.Audio: David Hasselhoff on Howard SternHoward said he has David Hasselhoff on the phone. He said he's formerly a judge on America's Got Talent. David said he's formerly from everything. Howard asked what he's up to. David said he's getting ready to go drive in the Gumball rally.David asked why he keeps taking his place on TV shows. He said he did Baywatch and then Howard did Son of the Beach. Now he's taking his spot on America's Got Talent. Howard said he's actually taking Piers Morgan's spot.Howard asked David if he walked away from that show or was he fired. David said that it was a contract negotiation thing. He said it was 4 years of arguing with Piers and it wasn't easy. He said Howard will see how hard the work is. Howard said he doesn't have to work out a script or anything and it was pretty high profile. He said he does see the huge time commitment it is though.David said the show is fun if you take your wife or girlfriend but after 4 years it wasn't fun anymore. He said he had Howard would have had a blast but with Piers it was just too much. He said he couldn't take it any more. Howard said David's persona is Mr. Nice Guy and the thing with Piers seemed pretty real. David said Piers was writing stuff behind his back and putting in the papers and denying it. He said he threatened to kill him on the air and they finally became good friends.Howard asked why he threatened to kill Piers. He said he gets that they battle a lot because you tend to defend people you like. David said that the production company will tell you to put people through at times.Howard said he saw that David wanted to butt heads with Piers. David said he changed that to ''we were butting heads.'' He said that Piers didn't like that he threatened him. David said that they had agreed that year that they weren't going to call each other out and get nasty on the show. He said Piers went for the jugular and said he was going to put people through to get at David Hasselhoff. He said Piers called him out so he called Piers out. After that they became close and got friendly.Howard asked how he gets close to a guy who betrays him and prints stories about him. David said you have to sit next to them through 80 acts. Howard asked if he would hold it against him to this day. David said they had it out on Piers' show and Piers apologized. Howard said he could never forgive that. David said Howard did that to him and he called him off the air and Howard apologized to him for it off the air. Howard said he doesn't recall that. Gary said he thinks he made that whole thing up. David said he did do that. He said that Howard wanted him to be on Son of the Beach or something and he talked to him about it and then Howard got on the air and said something that he said in confidence.David asked when the show starts. Howard said it's started already and he has to be watching. David said he doesn't watch the show. Howard said he happens to love the show. David said he loves the show too. He was on Britain's Got Talent and he did a year of that. He said he only signed on to do one year.Howard said he heard a story about David at AGT. He said he heard the producers got mad at him because he went out and got spray tanned during a break and the producers freaked out. He said that his spray tan caused a bunch of commotion. David said that is not true. He said that's something that Piers Morgan ran with that story. He said he didn't come back orange. He said he did get the spray tan at lunch but no one said anything about it. Piers was the one who ran with the story and made a big deal out of it.David said he and Piers are good friends now. He said he does things over in London and he hangs out with Piers' kids over there. He said he's been a real stand up guy with him. David said he was always very kind to his kids so that's how he judges someone.David's dog was barking so Howard asked if he has a lot of pets. David said he has 7 dogs and a pig. Howard asked if he's worth more than $10 million. David said it's more. Howard asked if he owns Baywatch. David said he owns part of that. He said they brought the show back because of the success of the song he did. He tried to bring Knight Rider back but NBC took that away from him. Howard asked if he's trying to bring out a movie based on Baywatch. David said that the people at Imagine own Baywatch the movie. He said he has no idea where they're going with it. He said he is in the middle of a Knight Rider thing with the Weinsteins. He said he lost the rights to the show though. He said he's in a new Piranha movie that's coming out on the 29th. David said that it's Piranha 3DD.Howard asked if he needs one serious part to prove that he's a serious actor. David said he's had those parts. He said that he was Nick Fury. He said he's not sure why that didn't keep going. David said when you're a TV star you remain a TV star. He said that Knight Rider will come back. David said the Piranha movie is great and he thinks that his audience will love it.Howard asked if David is nude hanging aroudn. David said he's actually packing to fly to New York right now. He said that he has to fly out in about an hour.Howard asked David about his wife. David said his first wife married a guy named Michael Knight which was very weird to him. He said now she drives around in a Knight Rider car.David told Howard about how he got custody of his kids. Howard asked how that happened and how that tape of him being drunk on the floor with a hamburger got in the hands of the public. David said it wasn't his daughter who released it. Howard asked if it was Piers Morgan. David said that he should ask a few more questions. David said that it could have been someone who had access to his daughter's computer. Gary said it must be the ex-wife. David said he can't say that but it could have happened that way. David said that he had to put everything he could into showing that he was a cool guy and that his wife was playing the kids. He said within 6 weeks he had full custody of his kids. David said that he asked the judge where he saw the video and he told him it was on E.T. David asked if he was really going to judge him based on a TV video tape.Howard asked David when he found out that tape was on Youtube. David said he was doing America's Got Talent and they were between shows. He said his attorneys and agent walked in and told him what they had seen. David said there was no tape and he doesn't do that. He said they insisted there was a tape. David said they told him that there was a tape of him drunk eating a hamburger. He said they told him it wasn't funny, it was bad. They told him it was going to be out the next day. David said he got calm and saw the writing on the wall. He said he knew he had to get his shit together and stop feeling sorry for himself. Howard asked if he was embarrassed to go out after that. David said he just asked if anyone knew where he could get a good cheeseburger.David said the first call he got was from Simon Cowell and he said everyone makes mistakes. He said that he defended him and so did Ozzy Osbourne. David said he just looks at life like ''shit happens.'' Howard said he'd be in a panic if that was going on in his life. Howard said it's embarrassing to see that kind of thing. Howard said people think he's crazy anyway so that's the kind of thing people would love to see.David said he lost his job on The Producers because of that tape and it was devastating to him. He said he was having a great time doing that play.David told Howard that the judge in the custody battle was great. David said that he's clean and sober now. He said he was clean and sober when that tape was made. That was just a one off thing. Howard asked David about being hospitalized a bunch of times for alcohol poisoning. David said it can be tough when you're an alcoholic. He said that life is fantastic now. He said he has a girlfriend from Wales and she looks like Farrah Fawcett. He said he's going to drive to Indianapolis this week and he's having fun.Howard asked David about the girlfriend and if he's having sex all the time. David said he has it as often as he can. He said he met her on Britain's Got Talent. Howard asked if he had someone bring her to him. David said that he walked right up to her in the audience and said ''you're the one.'' He said she wouldn't go out with him for 6 weeks because she thought he was too old for her. He said he's 59 and she's 32. Howard asked if he has a strong erection or does he use Viagra. David said he's the Hoff and he's like morning wood.Howard said he heard that he's proposed to her and she's turned him down. David said that's not true. Howard asked if he gives her everything sexually. David said they don't do anal. Howard told him to hit his erection against the phone right now. David said okay, whacked the phone and yelled in pain.Howard said he heard that they had the chance to hire Leonardo DiCaprio on Baywatch and they turned him down. David's bird was making noise so he told it to be quiet.Howard asked if the Leonardo DiCaprio story was right. David said that it was. He said that it's best that they didn't hire him because he did just fine without that. He said he would have played his son on the show if they had hired him. He said they went with Jeremy Jackson instead. Howard said that kid ended up on Celebrity Rehab.David said that he has no regrets. He said he did embarrass his daughter with that drunk tape. He said that was the sad part about the whole thing. Howard said he was a legend in the drinking community. He said he read he was clocked at a .39 blood alcohol level. David said he has broken some records. Howard said he read that David ran out of rehab in sweat pants to get a drink. David said he may have done that.Howard asked if David tried to commit suicide once. David said his life is too good and he's never done that. He said he was at a hotel and he was shaving and ended up breaking a lamp that sliced tendons in his wrist and arm. He said he got stitched up and then his ex-wife went out and said he tried to kill himself. He said he wouldn't do that. He said he has so much to live for. He said he has to go and do the Gumball rally tomorrow. He said they're shutting down Times Square tomorrow to do that.Howard asked David if his dad still calls him Michael Knight. David said that he has done that by mistake. Howard said that's not funny. David said it's fantastic. He said his dad used to carry cards aroudn that said ''Knight Rider's Dad.''Howard asked if he ever fucked Pam Anderson. David said he did not. He said that there were too many other people around. Howard asked if he would like to. David said no. He said he's afraid. David said he's just afraid. He said she's gorgeous and lovely but he's afraid. He said there have been other wankers in there before. He said he's happily engaged to a hot Welsh girl and he doesn't need to have sex with Pam.Howard asked David who he's going to vote for. David said that he'd probably go for Obama again. He said Romney reminds him too much of the Bush administration and he didn't like that.Howard gave David a plug for his movie Piranha 3DD. He asked what he's up to next. David said he's doing the Gumball rally and then he's going to the premiere of the movie and doing a bunch of other things like going on a safari and going on an underwater thing. Then he's going to try and bring Knight Rider back as a movie. He's got a lot going on.Howard asked David if the Welsh chick is there. David said she's meeting him in New York. He said she's in Wales right now. Howard said he'd love to talk to her. David said he'd bring her on the show. Howard said he has to ask her about the anal thing because she must not love him if she won't give him that. David said they have a lot of fun together. Howard asked if he's ever had a gay experience. David said he has not. He asked Howard if he has. Howard said a guy did ask him to put his hand on his dick once when he was little but he knew it was wrong and took it off.Howard gave David some more plugs and talked about Piranha 3DD. David said this is the worst movie ever made. He said it's a goofy movie with topless women and things like that. Howard said it sounds like something he'd like.Howard and David talked about the John Travolta controversy that's going on right now. They talked more about the Piranha movie and David said that he gets to see himself in 3-D so that's kind of fun. He said he shot for a week on that movie. He said there are some penises that get bitten off in the movie. He said there are some young stars in the movie whose names he doesn't know. He said they have Christopher Lloyd and Gary Busy in the movie too. He said it's a lot of fun. Howard told David to come see him sometime. David said he will come to an AGT show and say hi there. Howard thanked him for calling in and let him go. He said the movie sounds like fun for the whole family... if you're the Manson family. David got a laugh out of that.Howard said he thinks that David has hit the wall. He is 59 years old. George said he was shocked at Gregg Allman and how aged he is. Howard said he put his body through the mill. George said it sounds like David has too. Howard said you have to hand it to David because he walks aroudn like nothing is happening after that video came out. Howard said he has to learn something from him. He said he worries too much about that stuff. George said that's what's great about Howard. He said David is just oblivious to everything.Howard said David has this career and family life that makes it seem like he's squeaky clean. Howard said it turns out he just doesn't give a shit. Howard said the guy is worth tons of money and he seems to be having a great time.Howard asked George if he's ever turned down a movie role. George said even he has turned down roles. He said even he appeared on Son of the Beach. He played the Grandpa in the show. He said he was happy to land that role. He said he was still in his 50s back then. Howard said he had to go to break after that.

Source: Marks Friggin